“Total Divas” Returns so Let’s Dissect This Season’s Trailer

I know I am way behind on posting this.  Like, WAY behind.  This trailer was posted one month ago for crying out loud!  But what can I say, it’s #SummerTime (lol get it?!) so I was enjoying the outdoors before winter swoops in and keeps me as a hostage in my apartment once again.  Now that the Divas are making their return to the small screen, I have a reason to blog again.  JK, I had tons of reasons to blog.  I was just lazy and didn’t pursue any of them.

Anyway, let’s get down to it:

HELLO DADDY, HELLO MOM!  I’M YOUR … semi-talented wrestling daughter whose fame has increased ten-fold since signing up for a reality show on E! Network.

First off, Nikki confronting John Cena about kids (again)?!  WHOSE ULTRASOUND IS THAT?!??!!!???!?!?!  I NEED TO KNOW NOOOOOOW.  And don’t tell me it’s a stock image that they’re using just to get me to watch the show because I KNOW E! WOULD NOT DO THAT TO ME.  But, I mean, lolololol at John Cena’s face.

surprise

Woah woah woah.  Total conflict and total heat?!  How does this show do it … without repeating the same storylines over and over?  Oh wait, Trinity and Cameron are going to break up?  Didn’t that happen in Season 1?  Can’t fool me, producers MWAHAHAHA.  However, it might actually be real this time.  My light viewing of RAW and Smackdown has shown me that these two are in fact broken up in the ring.  Or at least the last time I checked they were, so I could be wrong.  But either way, DRAMA!

Are YOU ready for the most explosive season yet?  More importantly, are you able to sleep tonight after hearing Summer’s laugh after shooting that gun?  #NightmareFuel

evil summ

HOLD ON A SECOND.  Who the hell is this?!

mystery

Is E! really going to bring on a new Total Diva and not let us know about it in the trailer?  I am very hashtag disappointed in you, E!.  How am I supposed to find this new Diva on Instagram when you don’t even give me some dirt on her in the trailer?  Will the other girls accept her?  Or will they shun her a la Summer and Eva Marie?  SO MANY QUESTIONS.  Next Sunday can’t come soon enough.

I guess I better watch the last episode of Season 2 first.

vinny