Christmas is the Best *clap clap* Don’t Pay Attention to the Rest

Here you go; play this for ultimate holiday cheer while reading this post:


Why is Christmas the best?  I really don’t know – it just is.  Seriously, when else can you listen to songs like this:

and this:


Christmas is the ultimate distraction holiday.  Not only are there lights flashing at you from every direction, but there’s also tons of cool gifts you can buy to show your friends and family that you are the ultimate best at gift giving you care.

ms christmas There’s also the fact that Christmas distracts you from “real life” for a while (at least it does for me).  Everyone is a little nicer, a little happier, and work doesn’t seem as impossible when you can look forward to having two days off two weeks in a row – a REAL Christmas miracle!  You blindly charge gifts on your credit card and figure you’ll deal with the consequences in January (UGH January).  You bake, make, wrap, decorate, and give give give.  GAWD HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE CHRISTMAS?!

Plus – the food.  No one judges you for stuffing your face with ham and cheesy dips and cocktail weenies and desserts and drinks because hey, it’s the holidays!  I am growing quite nicely into my holiday hips and mini-Santa belly.  Who cares?  My body’s going to be covered in at least four layers of clothing for the next five months at least so who gives a shit.


Sure, Santa is kind of creepy in that we make kids believe it’s okay for an old dude to come into their house one night, eat cookies, and leave gifts, but I love that dude.  Of course you know that some mall Santas are probably alcoholics and should not be allowed around children, but being able to get kids to behave just by saying “Saaaanta’s waaatching!” is pure genius.

This post will not and does not come close to portraying exactly how much I love Christmas.  I could write 3,000 words and it still wouldn’t come close, plus I haven’t written that much since college and I don’t think my brain would even be able to handle that.  So for now, I’m just going to watch Christmas episodes of various TV shows and probably tear up during all of them.  I AM CMS-ING, OKAY?!  (Christmas Menstrual Syndrome)



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