Stinky Face Stuff

was planning on watching “Total Divas” tonight and bringing back my weekly recap, but unfortunately you might actually need a subscription to the channel you’re planning on watching (not naming names … SAMMERZ).  So anyway, here I am watching season 1 of “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” for the second time and doing my pre-bedtime routine.  Aaaand apparently blogging about it now, kewl.

Basically I just wanted to throw some hot tips out there that may or may not be beneficial to you, my dear reader, who may or may not be my only reader, who may or may not be my husband (thanks for the support, bby).

I’ve come across two simple, albeit stinky, face cleansers that are also all natural.  Yay!  And not like you get them in the natural section of the skin care aisle, but like, actually natural and organic.  Coconut oil and apple cider vinegar, y’all!

You might be thinking, “What? Coconut oil isn’t stinky you fool!” but you are wrong.  So, so wrong.  Coconut oil is smelly and leaves a weird scent on your face, which you catch a whiff of later in the day and makes you want to vom.  I continue to use the oil, though, because it works wonderfully and all you need is a dime-sized amount, tops.  Rub that goop all over your face (make sure it’s the good natural, organic, blah blah blah not overly processed stuff), add a little water and maybe even some essential oils, and watch your makeup and grime sliiiide right off your mug and onto your washcloth.  I highly recommend using a washcloth to get all that stinky coconut oil off your face (in order to avoid the stinky after-smell, see above).  I sometimes even follow up with actual face wash just to make sure all the oil is removed, but that’s in part due to having oily skin and not wanting extra oil left on my face.

Stinky friend #2: apple cider vinegar!  The good, organic stuff, preferably Bragg’s for the cool-looking bottle.  That’s right, the murky stuff that has clumps in it.  Ohh yeah, soak in the clumpy, stinky weirdness.  I use ACV (cool abbrev, huh?) as a toner, heavily diluted of course.  I have sensitive skin so I dilute mine in a 1:4 ACV to distilled water ratio and keep it in a travel-size spray bottle.  Then it’s spritz spritz spritz onto a cotton pad and gently rubbed on my face.  It stinks at first, because obviously – it’s vinegar.  But the smell goes away as the vinegar dries and I don’t notice any lingering scent within five minutes of using it.  You can make the solution stronger if you don’t notice any difference in your skin, but the internet tells me to not go over a 1:1 ratio.  Start weaker and work your way up, if needed.  Science + math = better skin?!  Who knew.

There you have it!  Now my husband will know why it always smells like vinegar in our bathroom, and you have new stinky friends for your bedtime and morning routines.  You’re welcome!